More mornings than I care to admit, I wake up in a very sour mood. It’s almost always because 1 – it’s early; 2 – it’s still dark; and 3 – there’s usually a tiny person crying for me. Almost always, that tiny person wakes up all the other tiny people, and before I can even fully open my eyes, there are 3 tiny people demanding food and the Wonder Pets.
Now, you might not think this is a big deal, but I wake up early on purpose, and I am not a morning person. I do it because it is LITERALLY the only time of day I have to myself, and it’s become a sacred time.
When my alarm goes off at 6 a.m., I stumble out of bed, and head straight to the caffeine (side note – program your coffee machine. Seriously. To have coffee hot and ready when you need it is life changing.), and in the quiet, with just my piping hot coffee and Jesus, I am able to prepare myself for the day ahead. Sometimes, this sweet stillness lasts a full 30 minutes. Sometimes, it lasts 5. But regardless, I have come to treasure however long I get, and I have noticed the huge difference it makes in my attitude each day.
Alas, recently, these demanding tiny people have been waking up BEFORE the alarm. BEFORE the coffee. BEFORE the quiet stillness of early morning. When this happens, I find myself growing resentful. I am impatient with this tiny person who has done nothing more than just wake up and wants a cuddle.
This happened yesterday. And in his gentle wisdom, my husband pointed out that I was not reacting appropriately. He only meant to draw my attention to it, so I could re-focus and change my attitude. But what I ended up allowing it to do was to send me into a tailspin of mommy guilt.
Mommy guilt sucks. It’s the worst. And it’s something I have to fight against EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
I’m doing too much. I’m doing too little. Whatever I am or am not doing is wrong.
In reality, it’s a big, fat lie that I buy into it all the time.
But let me share with you, fellow mommies feeling the guilt, this perfect promise that I recently read:
He tends his flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young. Isaiah 40:11
This feels like a special message just for me — as someone who has young (and many young). He gently leads me. He gently leads me out of guilt and into freedom. He gently reminds me that I am more than enough — that my kids are loved, cared for and happy. He gently takes me into a place of grace, forgiveness and joy.
So if you’re feeling the guilt today — whether as a mom or a wife or a friend or an employee or just as a person — you listen up.
You are amazing. You are more than enough. You are loved, cherished and treasured.
Rest in that today and every day my friend, and allow yourself to be gently led into green pastures beside still waters.